Second-guessing yourself is one of the biggest deterrents to living. All the time, I put off applying for jobs, funding, schools, I stopped painting, writing just because of the fear of failure or not meeting my own expectations. I constantly delay taking risks, making leaps of faith and then when things don’t pan out, I can convince myself, that it was not meant to be, that it makes sense. I found these sentiments echoed so beautifully in Yasmin Yonis’ twitter thread about procrastination:
I have let fear of failure, fear of other people’s laughter, fear of disappointing people dictate my ability to just be for so long that I am looking around and I see everywhere, unfinished projects. A harsh judgement on my inability to just start! So today I start to unlearn the fear of imperfection, the fear of failure, I learn to be okay with starting where I am. I am starting!
Start where you are.
Start with fear.
Start with pain.
Start with doubt.
Start with hands shaking.
Start with voice trembling but start.
Start and don’t stop.
Start where you are, with what you have.
Ijeoma Umebinyuo from “Questions for Ada”