how many times have I peeled myself

only to wake up the next day,

having regrown that same skin

I have escaped and ran

a thousand times

hoping to leave

past versions of myself

behind

only to

become me again

peeling is futile

what lies within

cannot be peeled away

burnt

forgotten

it is me

I am it

wherever I run

it is me I will find there

This poem, like an earlier poem I wrote Escape to Yourself expresses a lot my doubts about travelling/ migrating. It reflects in many ways in which those of us who leave our homes, for whatever reason, often find versions of our homes in the places we run to. We are the products of the societies we come from. Though I may have temporarily left home. I carry it with me everywhere. It colours my perceptions of new people and places. It is a source of grief and nostalgia. Sometimes I am ashamed to admit, I am relieved to be away from it. And on most days I see, that I am my home.

On those days I find Sodade by Cesaria Evora, comforting. Sodade -expresses the melancholy of Cape Verdeans who migrate to Sao Tome.

Youtube: Sodade by Cesaria Evora

 

Featured Image by Gregory Prescott