A portrait of this woman on fire

prose- a poem

Dear Sara I once promised to love you.

They Call Me Baartman

The first letter I wrote to Sara Baartman

but now I write to apologise

i have broken that promise

Over and over again in this last year alone

I said I would love you, love myself

Sometimes I look at myself,

and I see you myself,

i see myself and look at you,

you and me,

from some angles i can barely tell the difference anymore.

Its you, its me, its us.

I painted this self portrait in 2024 and it has only hung up prominently in my house in 2025. I call it an ode to Sara

I want the love letter from 2017 to be true.

But if i am honest with you sara, i can’t promise to love you, because i don’t love myself.

I am so sorry for what they did to you. to us,

i know there is nothing wrong with you and me, me and you, rona. But i have lost that love

i am sorry

vacillating self love