rage

i know this rage will consume me.

it already has.

at first it was red.

destructive.

i was screaming into the smug, triumphant faces of my tormentors.

the more i raged, the redder the world became

i was untethered

screaming bloody crimson

this rage was deafening.

then it went white-

stark and stinging the eyes

that burning was only alleviated by the descent of fog

everything, everyone- became blurry impermanence

i was lost, afraid, hurt

and FURIOUS!

white fury that did not know where it started and where it was going

blind excruciating rage

this is not anger that subsides,

a tantrum that can be constrained.

this is not the rage that is healed by time.

this is the wrath that stares back at you when you accidentally catch your reflection.

it is the dark specter of your soul

black rage.

it is almost imperceptible.

an echo in a hollow room.

an ember in the aftermath of a wild fire.

dead but alive.

yes, this rage consumes me.

may it propel me towards the light.